BELOW you will find additional examples of quality work from the 2001-2002 Human Relations classes.  I think that you will find some excellent reflection evident in the works listed on this page.  Enjoy!!

September 10, 2001
 For Human Relations class, I need to do a creative writing assignment incorporating the ten ingredients.  Mr. Amato said that most people do journals, so I didn’t want to do one at first because it sounded too generic.  But I think that this will be a good idea.  I’m going to use a mellowing ingredient in my daily life, and write an entry about it each day.  And if I don’t get a great grade, at least I’m learning how to improve my personality and outlook on life.

September 11, 2001
 Today I concentrated on my self-esteem.  All right, unfortunately I can’t write about this subject without writing about my past.  When I was 14, I was diagnosed with depression.  It’s caused by a chemical imbalance in my head, and I took medicine every morning to balance it, and saw a councilor.  I don’t take my medicine much anymore though.  I think growing up is curing it.  So anyway, my self-esteem sucked.  My councilor taught me how to learn to love myself, and that helped.  I take care of myself.  I eat healthy, I play soccer, and I pay attention to my sleeping habits.  What keeps me in tune with myself the most though is my nighttime ritual.  I meditate, reviewing my choices and actions of the day; and then I pray.  I really feel like I count, and I love who I am right now and look forward to how I’ll evolve later in life.  I feel like I’m a good person, I’m very proud of whom I’ve become, and that’s such a great feeling.

September 12, 2001
 My mellowing lesson today was about esteem for others.  It was weird, because something happened today that fits right in with my lesson.  Today, my best friend told me that she secretly borrowed a shirt from me, and she returned it to me at lunch.  She said she took it Saturday before our soccer game.  I was very shocked because she’s such an honest sweety.  Then I took a moment to think about how to handle it; I wanted to think first so that I could handle it the best way.  I told her that she’s a great friend, and if she ever needs anything, she can ask me.  Part of the Other Esteem lesson is to trust your friend to be honest, without giving a penalty.  The terrorist attack yesterday inspired me to tell my friends and family how I feel about them, and not to take them for granted so much, and also to treat everyone with a more positive esteem.

September 13, 2001
 Today’s lesson is about soul.  Yesterday and today I’ve heard on the news about hate crimes on American Muslims and other Arabian-American people.  This is wrong.  In America, there are many different kinds of people and we need to respect these differences in us.  There isn’t a mold to create the perfect American; the uniqueness of people needs to be praised.  I’m scared that America is stooping down to levels of hate crimes again, we have a better soul than that.  The Muslim faith is a peaceful faith, and the hate crimes need to stop.
 Sometimes I tend to look at things for face value.  This is a fault that I regret the most about myself.  I want to have a deeper soul, but how does someone give his or her soul a makeover?  I talk to Jason about our favorite books, and he gives me poetry to read.  Max and I talk about our issues with religion and relationships.  All of my friends have such amazing characteristics that give them great soul, and seeing it in them inspires me to be a better person.
 

September 14, 2001
 Today I need to review my priorities, to sort out the less important urgent things from the important.  The first example I can think of is how I’m so proud of myself for working on this assignment day by day, instead of writing something the night before like how I usually do my schoolwork.  My top priority is to become more organized.  My room is an unorganized mess.  I get distracted from cleaning it in the hurry rush of getting ready for school or dates.  Although these are important at the time, I could work on taking a few seconds to put things away when after I use them.  Once I get into the swing of keeping organized, I imagine it doesn’t take up much time.  Another priority I have right now is my urgent need to get to sleep on time, because I know that getting up for school tomorrow will be super tough if I work on this much longer even though at the moment it’s important.

September 15, 2001
 Problem Ownership is to take responsibility of your problems first.  This isn’t easy for me.  I’m an easy person to convince to help out, because it’s very hard for me to say, “no”.  During the school year I’m involved in so many activities and work that homework is put on the back burner.  My problem right now is increasing my grade-point average.  Last year my grades were terrible and I’m sooo disappointed with myself.  I’m a Junior now, and I need to take high school seriously.
 A friend of mine is dating my ex-boyfriend.  She asked me if it was OK, and I was fine with it because we dated a long time ago, but I know of his obsessive, suffocating ways and I warned her.  She went for it anyway, and they’ve been dating for about three months.  Recently, though, she’s been complaining about how this guy is just emotionally too much for him.  It takes all the strength in me not to say “I told you so” and walk away.  So I try to be a good friend and listen to her problem.  She doesn’t take my advice though, and she doesn’t listen to my problems with my boyfriend because she perceives hers as being more urgent.  My Mellowing Lesson tells me to be able to say, “I’m sorry, but that’s your problem.”  Man, that takes guts.  I’ll try though tomorrow to be sincere with her.
 

September 16, 2001
 Today’s lesson is titled “Choice Through One’s Own Efforts”.  To be honest, I didn’t understand this lesson completely.  My notes say that choice is the courage to live with bad decisions as well as the good, and that there needs to be room for disagreement to make good choices.  I don’t know if this problem fits in with this lesson, but I’m still trying to understand.  My boyfriend Jeffrey is going to join the Marines after he graduates high school, and I am so scared for him.  Our political beliefs are as different as night and day.  He believes that it is an American Citizen’s duty to serve his or her country in the military, as a way of giving back and saying thanks for democracy, while I’m prepared to hop the border to Canada if war ever breaks out.  Jeffy made his choice to someday be in the Marines a long time ago.  On account of the terrorist attacks though, he made his choice to join immediately out of high school.  He went through the pros and cons of this decision and still made this choice.  He definitely has the motivation to live through his decision too.

September 17, 2001
 Today I concentrated on having purpose.  To have purpose in life is to belong to something larger than yourself that is worthwhile.  I believe in God, and I go to church.  Currently, our church is seeking for a minister and I am the youth representative for the search committee.  It is fun, worthwhile and rewarding.  I feel like I’m making a difference, and I’ll help make our church a better, stronger place.

September 18, 2001
 I have a feeling like today’s lesson, Relaxation, will be my favorite.  Our society has a tendency to be very anxiety-prone.  Since this anxiety is a learned attitude, we can also learn to relax.  Some people find it relaxing to listen to a metronome or the tick-tock of a clock.  I find it so relaxing to listen to rain.  Camping out is very relaxing also, because you can leave all responsibility at home and be together with nature.  I meditate.  I have a tape about R&R skills to listen to.  You lay down, do a few slow stretching exercises to relax your muscles, leave your troubles and body behind and go to a happy, safe place inside your head and stay there for a while.  For me, it’s the most relaxing thing I could ever imagine feeling, and when I’m ruler of the galaxy I’ll require everyone to do it daily.

September 19, 2001
 Wow I’m glad I have Intro to Comm right now, many lessons in that class correspond with lessons in Human Relations.  Today’s lesson is Communication.  Communication is the sharing of meaning.  It is a very tough skill to master, because there are many interferences to cope with.  To communicate well you need to see things in another person’s shoes, and you need to escape interference by such things as talking in a quiet place and keeping good eye contact.  Watch for feedback to make sure the person understood.  I remember when Soren came over last year from Denmark, and he had to master English real quick.  But all the English classes in the world aren’t going to prepare you for street slang.  I can’t even think of good examples, darn it.  But once in a while, it was tough communicating with Soren, especially because we had to get used to his accent.
 

September 20, 2001
 My last lesson to learn is Perspective.  I’d say this is one of the most important mellowing ingredients, especially in this time of terrorist and war threat.  To have perspective is to be able to see through the moment, and to transcend our immediate view to see the big picture.  Middle Eastern countries are poor, famine-stricken, and are usually robbed of their freedoms by a military government.  Since the USA is the superpower of the world, some countries think that we should be fair and help out all less-fortunate countries, and we don’t offer help to Afghanistan.  Also, Afghanistinians hate our lifestyle: we are capitalist, materialistic, and individuals.  Our kids watch television and live to have fun.  Women don’t wear veils, and women are treated as equals.  In their culture, our lifestyle is seen as evil.  Afghanistan and the USA needed to practice a better perspective toward each other before things got out of control.

 The stocks were down this week and Max was finding more and more hairs in the washbasin. He was 32 but he looked 40. Fate, it seemed, was not very fair to his chances of keeping the hair he had left.
 Today is the day, Max thought as he ran his hand through his dissipating hair. He watched his wife wake up from her night of seemingly restless sleep. Sometimes he envied her ability to sleep through anything and everything. He would not know her terrible secret until after the fall. His mind drifted off as he thought of numbers and value fluctuations. A tinny buzzing sounded in his ears and he was annoyed by this. He glanced over once again at the bed he had gotten out of an hour ago and watched his wife’s lips move without sound.
 “What?” he said. Her voice was still weak; her words were nothing but quiet mumblings.
 

 “I said, can you give me a ride to Jordan St., I have an appointment to meet.” She heard the words come out of her mouth perfectly clear but she couldn’t understand why he couldn’t understand them. She felt the space of skin between her toes burning along with the familiar stabbing pain. This time she had used too much and it was showing evidently with her marks. She sighed and began to repeat herself, hoping he would hear.
 

 Max glanced at the clock over the bed shelf and realized he would need to be at work soon. He hurried out of the bathroom, forgetting his wife’s silent request, his mind only on his impending time to work.
 “I’m off to work; don’t worry about lunch or dinner. Love ya,” he stated and was gone moments later.
 

 Melissa watched in despair as her husband ignored her completely and left for work. It’s very important, were the last words she was about to say. Her husband, however, did not hear them.
 

 Stock prices fell, the market was crashing around him, and Max felt helpless. Nothing was going right with his life and he felt that if things didn’t change soon, he would have to instigate the change. He felt like an utter failure and he constantly berated himself for not making the right decisions. Max watched as their money dwindled and his family was forced to just barely scrape by. His desperation could be seen in his actions.
During supper or other family gatherings, he would constantly make bitter remarks or snap at his wife for the paltriest of mistakes. One desolate and cold winter night, Max approached his wife cautiously. Melissa, though she didn’t know he knew, had always kept a secret cache of money in case of emergencies. Max had decided that this was an emergency.
“Melissa, can I ask you something?” Max looked into her eyes and saw that they were partially glazed over. He ignored her tiredness for now and tried to focus on the situation at hand. She simply gave him the defeated, vacant look that she usually had stamped on her face lately.
“Mm,” was all she said. He proceeded quickly, not wanting to lose his focus or his nerve. Max swallowed and strengthened his resolve. Internally, he was shaking nervously.
“I need to borrow some money.”
“Well, I don’t have any.” Max looked at her in disbelief, but then realized that she was just being naïve.
“I know about your ‘stash’,” he waited for recognition, “and I don’t need that much, just enough to get us back on track. I need this one chance to set everything right. And I will make it right. It can be like it was before, I promise you.” She continued to give him that cold and vacant stare. He realized, however, that he had gotten through and the money was as good as his. Max’s vow was not without merit, he intended to make some wise investments and get the ball rolling again.

Max cried and cried that morning after he read the newspaper. His “wise” investments had just turned into deficits and he had lost it all. The market plummeted as did his hope of redeeming himself. They were going to lose it all and things were falling apart.

The morning passed and Max found himself watching Melissa sleep again. He began to wonder how someone could sleep so much. Max’s hand found her shoulder and began to caress downwards towards her wrist. His hand ran over a small inconsistency and Max became concerned. He slowly pulled the covers down and found that his wife had a large needle wound in her left bicep. By the looks of it, it must have been weeks old.
Why didn’t I notice that sooner? Where have I been all this time? The answer was very simple, even though it eluded Max for an instant. He did not give her enough attention and he had simply ignored her for lack of a better description. She hid her addictions from him and he was never the wiser. Max’s priorities were all scrambled like a TV screen when you get a bad reception.
How could things end up like this? What’s wrong with my life? Max reasoned that this was all his fault. If he had been a better husband, none of this would have happened. In his darkest of hours, Max saw his lit escape. As he put the silver barrel into his mouth, he thought of better times and pulled the trigger. In the instant that he remained conscious he could see that his wife had awoken and that she was screaming.

The monotonous beeping filled his ears and he was not sure of his surroundings. He found that he could not move his head too far left or right, but he could still see light and his only view to the outside world: his hospital window. A door opened and closed, followed by footsteps coming closer. A sob or two escaped before the person was able to restrain themselves. Max couldn’t remember what had happened to him or why he couldn’t move his arms or legs, let alone anything else beneath his neck.
If only I could look down, I could make sure I still had a body, his mind thought irrationally. He did remember one thing though. Max could remember someone, who must be his wife, screaming and cradling him in her arms. That very same person sat next to him now, he realized.
I think she’s my wife. His mind raced and he guessed that he could assume it was true. She grabbed his hand but he could not feel her touch or just about anything else. As she began to weep, he realized how beautiful she really was. It was funny how you realize certain things only after it is too late. Max was learning this mistake and it would be one that would haunt him for the rest of his life. As his wife cried beside him, Max glanced out the window, staring at a world that he had once taken for granted, but no longer.

An annoying buzzer woke Kate from her deep sleep. The alarm clock. Hoorah. I have to go to school. Half asleep, Kate rose from her iron post bed, and staggered down the hall to the bathroom. She brought her face slowly to the mirror. Thursday. My absolute favorite. Just another day in the life of a high school freshman. Wonderful. At 7:20, Kate waited patiently as the bus made its way to her stop. Quickly she forged her way to the back of the bus and sat down on the old vinyl seat. She looked out the fogged window as the sidewalks and cars pass by. The trees had been brightly colored for some time and the leaves were just starting to fall. She took in a deep breath as the bus heads off to its next stop.
The second bell rang just as Kate entered through the doors.
“Great. . . late for first hour.” Kate mumbled as she flew through the empty hallway to her class.
“Late Ms. Ziner. . . . you are late. I marked you absent and you’ll just have to take it as an absent. A couple more, and I’ll have to write you up. You know, I thought you’d become aware of time by the second quarter of school year. Because we did just begin the second quarter today you know.” The balding science teacher grinned at the chance of effortlessly punishing a student.
“Yes Mr. Boarn, but my bus was late this morning.”
“That is your problem isn’t it? I can’t have everyone in the classroom coming in late, and then claiming it was due to a late bus. It was your choice to ride the bus, and your consequence because of it. Please, do learn to take ownership for your problems Ms. Ziner.” Mr. Boarn pursed his lips.
“Yes Mr. Boarn,” she started, as she moved to her desk, “however, I also know that if I had decided to walk today instead of riding the bus, then sir, I would be here. . oh say forty-five minutes late, rather than thirty seconds late. And it does take forty-five minutes to walk the three miles from the doorway of my home to the doorway of this classroom. I would have to work, mind you, seeing how my mother and father work out of town and I am not yet able to legally drive, sir. But yes, I had decided to ride the bus, in sheer hope to be here on time this morning, only to arrive here a few seconds before the bell rang. Either way, I’d show up late, either way I wouldn’t dodge your lecture about time, and either way, sir, you would see it as my problem. Yes, it was my problem, either way, it was my choice, and my consequence, and I understand that. What I don’t understand is why I’m being punished for something that was so minor and truly out of my control.” Sir.
Snickers and a quite applause filled the classroom. Mr. Boarn grit his teeth as he tried to regain his speech.
“If that doesn’t make Boarn go completely bald, then I don’t know what will.” Andrea Thompson whispered behind as Kate fixed her eyes on Mr. Boarn. His eyes gazed furiously at Kate; he then stormed to the doorway, ripped off the attendance sheet, and erased with the same fury.
“Okay. . . . back to science. . . .” Mr. Boarn began.

******

“Kate!”
“Oh, hey Adam.” She smiled as Adam kissed her cheek.
“I heard about Boarn. . . . sounds like you’re becoming quite the teacher’s pet.” Adam laughed.
Hey thanks. “Hey thanks. I can’t wait to go to next hour either. I’ve got Mrs. Hillington. Should be fun.”
“Foods 101. It’s an easy course. Not that I’ve ever taken it.”
“You should, knowing how to cook may just come in handy in college.” Kate laughed.
“Funny. . . . you’re funny. I know how to cook.” He squinted his eyes.
“More than just pizza and macaroni & cheese?” Kate flashed a quick smile.
“Get out of here!” Adam laughed as he walked to class.
Kate turned and headed down the hall to class. Foods 101. . . yeah, right. She walked in to the class and scanned the room. Okay, so I have a class with none of my friends. Wonderful.
“Kate! Hey, you can sit by me.” Lisa Venit called from the second to last table. Okay, yeah, she’s nice. I like her. I don’t talk to her very much. But that’s okay. Just before the bell rang, Sam William walked through the doorway. A friend. Kate turned to the right to greet Sam as he found a chair and sat down. As she opened her mouth, she noticed the eyes of someone behind focusing on her; her attention quickly redirected to the new stranger. She smiled as she glanced at his face.
“That’s Jake Philton. He’s the best damn goalie I’ve ever played with. Had close to 30 saves in one game. I don’t know what that says about our soccer team as a whole, but it sure says a lot about him.”
“Hi. My name’s Kate.”
“Hi.”
“You go to Sunday scrimmage, right?” She questioned as she looked into his eyes. Jade. Jaded.
“Right,” he smiled, “You do too, I’ve watched you play. Been playing a while?”
“No. . I ju-”
“Mr. Philton, Ms. Ziner. Do you have something to share with the class?
“Yes, ma’am, I’d like to say, I think you’re the greatest teacher Mrs. Hillington. That’s what I was just telling Kate here.” Jake winked at Kate and then flashed a quick grin.
“Well. . . in that case. Let’s get on with the class.”

******
Before she knew it, class was over and Kate headed out the door. I should thank Jake. She turned back towards the room only to run into a person who was walking close behind; the blow sent several papers to the ground.
“I- I am so sorry . . let me help you with. . .with these.” She stuttered as she kneeled to retrieve the loose papers.
“Kate, it’s okay.”
Jake. Her heart leapt and butterflies filled the space where her heart once was.
“Jake! I . . well. . . I wanted to thank you for what you did back there in Foods. . . . right. . . well, I’d better get to my next class. I’ll see you later?” She handed Jake his papers and took a deep breath.
“Of course.” He smiled and turned towards the crowded hallways then turned back. “Are you coming tonight, there’s a scrimmage in the middle school gymnasium from 7:00 to 9:00? I’ll be there. You should go.”
“Oh, I’d like to. I’ve got play practice tonight though. I’d be a little late if I made it to soccer.” Kate looked down at her books.
“You can skip a practice, come play soccer.” Jake persisted.
“I made a commitment to the play. I really should be at the play practice. Plus it’s dress rehearsal, I don’t think I should skip that. But if it does finish early, I will come to soccer.” She looked up from her books to Jake.
“Okay. Well, I hope to see you tonight.” Jake smiled.
She smiled back as she turned and set off to lunch.

******
“Whoa, that’s quite the dream Kate. A little realistic don’t you think?” Kate’s best friend Emily Burtin asked as she took a bite into an apple.
“No, I don’t know. . . I want to know what it means. Oh well, it’s not a big deal is it?” her eyes fixed onto Emily’s. Jake came into the cafeteria and sat down at a far table; soon Kate’s attention was redirected.
“I don’t know. Write it down in case something else surfaces. Okay?” Emily finished.
“Okay.”
“Well look who just showed up. If it isn’t your handsome Adam Devner.” Emily giggles as she turns to Kate. “Kate? Kate? Hey. . yo. . hello? What are you looking at?”
“Wh- what? Oh. . nothing. Sorry. What were you saying?”
“I said, ‘what were you-  right, obviously you’re not listening. What’s more interesting than-” Emily’s eyes followed the trail to where Kate was looking. “Oh. . . ” Emily sighed, “I see. Well, I can’t blame you. . . . ”
“No. What Emily? No it’s not like that. He’s in my Foods class and-”
“Lucky. . .” Emily interrupted. “You do know that’s Jake Philton don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do. I just met him-”
“Oh really?” Emily winked.
“We’re just friends. You know I’m seeing Adam. That’s all there is to it.” Kate quietly replied.
“Sure sure, I got ya.”
“Right,” Kate looked over to Adam’s table, he looked up and motioned for her. She smiled contently at Emily. “Adam wants me for a second, I’ll be back.”
“Take your time.”
“Hey Adam. . . .”
“Hey, Kate. I was thinking. Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”
Kate tilted her head a bit. “Okay.”
“Is this okay with you?” Adam looked down a bit, then focused back on Kate.
“Yeah, I’m okay with this.”

******

Kate looked up to the clock outside of the middle school auditorium. 8:45. Dress rehearsal should be done. Should have been done. Why aren’t we done yet? The run-through sounded great to me. We didn’t mess up.
“Okay everyone, that’s it.” The director called through the auditorium.  Kate sighed in relief and watched the cast and crewmembers disperse. Quickly Kate made her way into the girls’ restroom, changed, and then headed over to the gym. It was 9:00 when she walked through the gymnasium doors, and by that time everyone that was there was getting ready to leave. Great. It’s over. I wonder where Jake-
“Hey, did rehearsal run late?” Kate’s heart skipped with her footing as she turned her head. Jake.
“You startled me,” Kate breathed in, “Yeah. . . dress rehearsal ran a little late.” She smiled then asked, “Are you coming to see it, the play I mean?” Please say yes. She walked alongside Jake as they made their way out of the school.
“No, I can’t. My boss scheduled me all weekend.”
“It’s all right.” Kate smiled again. I’ll see you tomorrow. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Slowly she turned and started towards the school.
“Do you have a ride home?” Jake asked softly. “Actually, wait. . my question was would you like a ride home?” Kate stopped and turned back to Jake; his frown turned to a small grin.
“Of course she wants a ride home.” Jake’s friend Dan chuckled as he walked up from behind.
Kate happily sighed as she hopped into the backseat of Jake’s car. Jake got in and started the car as Dan slid into the passenger’s side. They left the school parking lot and made their way to Dan’s house and dropped him off; soon they were out of town and into the country. Kate looked out the window into the dark, starry night. When they neared her house Jake slowed the car to a complete stop and turned off the engine.
What the-“What are we doing? Why are we stopping ten feet from my driveway?” Kate asked, looking around her.
“Whoa. . . easy. Calm down Kate. Learn to relax a little. You mentioned you loved stars. Look at it outside, it’s so beautiful.” He looked over to her, “or would you like to go home?”
He’s right. Relax. “All right then. . . well I know a place up the road where there aren’t as many trees blocking the sky.” She smiled over towards his shadowed face.
Jake started up the car, “let’s go there then.” He turned onto a road and followed Kate’s directions. She pointed out the spot on the side of the road. He pulled over; they both got out, then climbed onto the hood his car. They leaned against the windshield and Kate took in a deep breath.
“Oh my God. It’s so beautiful.” Kate’s eyes fixed onto to millions of stars in the darkness.
“Yeah, I use to do this all the time. I guess I haven’t had the time lately; too many things going on.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Kate started, “everything is. . . a shooting star! Jake! A shooting star!” she exclaimed. Both stared at the star until it quickly disappeared in to the dark. “I’ve never seen a shooting star before.” Kate looked over to Jake.
“Serious? Your whole life, you’ve never seen a shooting star?” How’s that possible?”  He questioned, keeping his focus on the sky.
“Never at the right place at the right time, I guess. I don’t know really.” She looked back into the dark. Moments later another quick jet of light streamed through the night. Before Kate could speak, Jake turned towards her.
“Why is it that you’ve never seen a shooting star before, then when you’re with me, you see two?”
Fate? “I don’t know, fate?” Kate chuckled. Jake smiled back. They talked as they sat, watching intently on the starry sky. Soon the temperature dropped and the comfortable air turned cold. Jake noticed Kate shivering; he noticed she was hiding that she was cold, and decided it was best to take her home. Before long, they were in Jake’s car. For a while they sat, as the engine heated, and finished their conversations. After a while, Jake pulled back on to the country road and made his way back towards Kate’s house. He pulled up to the stop right in front of Kate’s house, and looked for any oncoming traffic. A car was coming close from the left, but they too had a stop sign, so he slowly made his left turn. Kate looked to Jake and realized that this was as good as her life was going to get, nothing could be better than the time she just spent getting to know him.

*******

Kate’s head rested on the cold pavement. Her eyes slowly opened to a blurred flashing light, then she unsteadily focused on her surroundings. A sharp pain moved swiftly across her forehead, then down the right side of her face. She tilted her head to see the side of her house. The pain moved through her body with a throbbing sensation. Please let this all be a nightmare. People began to move around her, quickly talking in a jumbled fashion.
“Two D.O.As. . . . one intoxicated. . . male about 30, other passenger. . . male about 17. . we’ve got one critical over here. . . another. . . where the hell’s EMT?”
D.O.A.? Where’s Jake? Please. . . let me see him again. Another set of flashing lights showed up. A blanket was placed on top of Kate to keep her warm as the EMT moved her to the ambulance. She looked to the faces of onlookers and workers nearby. She caught a glimpse of her mother, who quickly recognized her and began screaming in horror.
“That’s my daughter! That’s my Kate! Oh God. . . .” she kept repeating to the police officer, and ushered her into the ambulance alongside Kate. Kate breathed in slowly through the mask that was now covering her face. The pain became intense, almost unbearable. Thoughts raced though her mind as tears poured down her cheeks.
Am I going to die?
 I didn’t say ‘I love you’ to Mom or Dad one last time.
 I’m only a freshman in high school.
 I didn’t tell my friends enough how much they mean to me.
 I haven’t experienced the things life has to offer.
 Jake.
 Please God, stop the pain.
 Please make the pain go away.
 Slowly the pain left her body; Kate closed her teary eyes as she took a final   breath.

It takes a lot of confidence to ask someone out on a date.  Being able to approach a person and risk rejection is a difficult thing to do.  It’s good for a person to feel comfortable and confident around the opposite sex, and going out on that limb to ask a person on a date definitely promotes confidence.

Dating also encourages people to try new things.  It gets awfully boring to do the same old dinner and a movie every single weekend.  Having to try new things also encourages creativity, because in order to do something new, a person has to first come up with something new to do.  Everyone should try to expand their horizons at least once in their lives.

After dating various people, you can figure out what kinds of people you like.  Although most of us are just trying to have fun at this stage in our lives, eventually, we’re going to have to settle down, and possibly get married.  Dating a variety of people can help a person to get to know the kind of person they would like to finally settle down and spend their life with, and also what kind of person they wouldn’t want to spend their life with.

Dating teaches young adults responsibility.  When teens go places without their parents, there is a certain level of responsibility involved.  It’s good to show young people how to act responsibly while still having parents to fall back on in case something goes wrong.  Also, there is a certain responsibility involved if one partner pays for the other partner as a way of showing respect and that level of responsibility one partner is taking for the other partner.

Self respect and the willingness one has to make their values known is very important in dating.  If someone gets into a bad situation during which one partner is pressuring them to do something they don’t want to do, the confidence and self respect involved in showing values is very important.  If the partner being pressured is too timid to tell the other partner their values and how they feel about what’s going on, then it’s not a very good relationship.

Dating can help people learn their value systems and to stand up for them accordingly.  If one partner tries to pressure the other into doing something, a lot can be learned about one’s value system.  Although it may be hard to stand up for things against a person that someone wants to date, everyone needs to be able to get themselves out of a situation they don’t want to be in.

Dating helps develop other esteem, or a warm human relationship.  It gives people a good opportunity to share their self esteem with others and to establish connections.  These warm human relationships and connections will help us all down the road when we look for the kind of people we want to marry.

If someone is dating someone they aren’t particularly fond of, it can teach them tolerance.  For example, if someone is out to eat with a person they’ve recently found is not the kind of person they want to spend their time with, there’s not a whole lot they can do until the other partner takes them home.  It would be horrible for them to be mean and rude to the partner the entire time, just because they don’t like them, so they need to practice tolerance and a little bit of restraint to keep from doing something evil to their date.

Dating situations encourage people to make sacrifices and share.  When people get into more serious relationships, there is a lot of compromise and sharing involved.  If a person is in a relationship only for their own gain, then it’s unhealthy, and isn’t going to last very long.  Both partners need to look out for each others’ good, as well as the good of themselves.

Although it’s a more negative aspect of dating, it’s good for everyone to learn about rejection.  Life is never fair, and no one can ever always get their own way, and rejection is a good way to teach a person that the world does not exist to make them happy.  As harsh as it may seem, rejection would be a good thing for some people.  Of course, nobody likes being rejected on a regular basis.

Below is a prototype (sort of) of how a group might attack the assignment on Stuart Smalley.  It is meant as an example and not to be copied verbatim and then turned in.  I expect groups to find 3-4 problems and then to work with each one.  I have included only one problem, which may very well be a secondary one, at best.

I.    Subject:  STUART SMALLEY
II.   Background
    Stuart Smalley is a young man of about 32 years, single and living in Chicago.  He works for a public access channel, delivering a daily TV program called: DAILY AFFIRMATIONS.  He has recently been fired from this position.  In addition, he is a part-time waiter at a upscale Chicago restaurant.  Stuart is very much interested in.....  His friend include:  .........
       He comes from the Minneapolis area where his mother, father, brother and sister still reside.  Mr. Smalley is about 55 years old, living at home, occupation unknown.  Mrs. Smalley is a hosuewife.  His brother...his sister...., etc., etc.
        Stuart is very much interested in various form sof self-help programs and is amember of no less than 5-12 step programs, including (1) Overeaters Anonymous (2) Al-Anon and (3) Debtors Anonymous.  He works diligently on these programs with his various sponsors, in particular his Al-Anon sponsor and good friend, Julie.
**  INCLUDE MORE ON JULIE, FAMILY MEMBERS AND IMPACT OF ALL ON STUART...
**  SIGNIFICANT EVENTS IN HIS LIFE WITH DETAILS DONE OBJECTIVELY...

III.  Primary Problems
        *  Poor Decision-making skills
        *  ya-da
        *  ya-da
IV.  Evidence to Substantiate
      Poor decision-making skills
        *  Stuart maintains a high level of perfectionism that makes it unlikely that he can make decision and live with the consequences.
        *  Stuart over-relies on his sponsors and seems unable to execute simple choices on a day-to-day basis.
        *  Can jump to irrational behavior when confronted with setbacks (e.g.  losing his TV job)
        *
        *
        *
V.  Consequences
      Poor decision-making skills
        *  Stuart will continue to be a doormat, with people walking over him repeatedly.
        *  His self esteem, already quite low) will continue on its downward spiral.
        *  Eventual anger toward others might surface as he sees himself as a victim.
        *
        *
        *
        *
VI.  Goals/Action Plan
       Problem:  Poor decision-making skills
        Goal:  Stuart will incorporate a decision-making routine into his daily life and utilize it           
                when conftoned with major problems in his life, or for that matter, if the small
                day-to-day problems.
        Action Plan:
                *  Work with a trained psychologist reviewing various models of decision-making.
                *  Choose one that he feels comfortable utilizing.
                *  After utilizing this form of decison-making...get responses from several of his sponsors.
                        *   Evaluate the success of his decisions, both as an individual and with the guidance of his
                       therapist.
                *
                *
                *
VII.  SUMMARY STATEMENT

    Stuart Smalley is a troubled young man who has a trmendous need to be loved and accepted.  Over the course of his life, individual decision-making skills have been, for the most part, absent and as such, he has allowed others to control his behavior, and his life.  He responds to the demands of others and is unable to initiate behaviors that would take care of his needs and aspirations. He often feels fulfilled only when he is helping others, thus neglecting his own personal needs.
    Complicating the picture is a dysfunctional relationships with his parents and siblings. He minimizes personal concerns in an attempt to take are of the problems confronting his family.  There appears, however, to be evidence to suggest that he resents this intrusion into his life, but is compelled to help family nonetheless.
    Psyhological therapy would be most beneficial for Stuart, especially in helping him confront his past, deal with his present and effectively plan his future.  Therapy should be both individual and group.  It should include his various sponsors, or at least provide opportunities for these significant individuals to provide input and feedback.  His parents, siblings should also be encouraged to be a part of group sessions, though it is the opinion of this therapist that his family members should be encouraged to reconcile personal problems and seek individual therapy for themselves.
    After a period of no less than 6 months of therapy, another evaluations should be made as to Stuart's progress, and at that time, future therapeutic avenuces that might benefit Stuarts should be discussed.